What is this random Monday evening deciding it’s time for me to saddle up and figure out who I am? Where did it come from? Who put it here? Damn…those meditation CDs are really getting to me 😉
It’s definitely not where it ALL started, but playing Scattergories and not being able to think of ANYTHING beginning with the letter “K” that you can find in a vending machine is beyond frustrating. It’s like my mind is on pause. I feel like I’m tripping and every other word than the one you want is swirling around in your head. Is that considered writer’s block or something along the lines of schizophrenia… ?
Maybe my mind is elsewhere. But where? It’s not like I have so many activities going on that I can’t keep track or keep up. I am stagnant at this point. I am only grazing the surface of this life. Looks like I’m still just trying to figure out who I am. Who I want to be. I am trying to get by day to day without falling off the edge. Ironically, I just painted my nails with Essie “Over the Edge” (its a kick ass metallic slate). Anyway, ideas and thoughts pop up and I feel the need to write them down or else I’ll forget them forever. Unimportant thoughts, such as the fact that I just learned I truly dislike sentences containing several capital letters and punctuation. Mostly when done in terms of a reference or study. I will skip the entire paragraph to avoid it. Too many names, titles, and places. It’s not a big deal, and I’m not intending to sound disrespectful or ignorant, but its something I know about myself. I’m a Libra, I have blue eyes, and I dislike sentences with too many capital letters. So there.
Someone may read this and say that I am just in a rut. Welp, you know what? That someone may just be right. I am doing the same thing day in, day out. Eat, work, eat, sleep. Throw in the occasional binge drinking fiesta on the weekend and there you have it! …I need to start switching it up.
…I’m already scared just typing that, isn’t that pathetic? Pathetic in the best way possible.
Don’t get me wrong, I love myself. I have a good life, good health, good family, good friends, good job and a pretty little head on my shoulders– But it’s time to dig deeper. It’s time to stop surfing through this life and really get down and dirty… Okay I’m going to stop being cheesy and just get on with it. I’ve got some ideas…. just need to organize them–any excuse to make a list! [Insert cutesy English proverb about apples never falling far from their trees here]
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