It’s been 90+ degrees all week. I wake up around 7:00am and start my daily rituals. I hop in the shower, and hop out. I run downstairs and prepare a bowl of Cheerios. I catch up on my DVR. I put on my make up while practically sitting in the sink. I blow-dry my hair, stopping several times to open windows and doors to get a cross-breeze going. I stand in front of the closet, alternating between the left side, which houses all skirts and dresses, and the right side, which houses all blouses, cardigans, t-shirts, jeans and shorts. This week, the left side’s the best side. I am so hot after blow-drying my hair that all i can think about is free-balling it. I have worn a dress every day this week and decide maybe I should wear dresses every day for the rest of my life. I know that I could, but I’m sure it would get boring; I also wouldn’t want someone to think I belong to one of those religions where the females don’t wear pants. Anyway, I have some pretty great dresses. My boobs look great, and you wouldn’t even be able to guess how bloated I really feel. I can dress them up with heels, or dress them down with flats. I am in love with my dresses this week. The only thing I’m not in love with, is how un-ladylike I can be while entering and exiting a vehicle in my adorable little dresses. Let me just preface, yes, I wear panties. Depending on the material of the dress, I may even wear boy-shorts. I am pretty sure I’ve flashed a few lucky passers-by out there; you’re welcome, that one was on the house.
However, I do wonder what I look like from a head-on position. I’m not sure if it’s that I don’t care so much while getting in the car, or if it’s that I’m usually in a rush, but I usually just toss my bag to the passenger’s side seat, straddle that door jam and slide into place. Getting out of the car I usually kick the door open with my foot, which means yes, my leg is up in the air, cars are driving by (that’s where all that honking’s been coming from…) and once I straddle that door jam again, I end up doing some sort of twirl, and I’m good. I’ve been on the phone with friends several times where I have to put them on hold in order to get myself out of the car in a skirt or dress. I say “You know people go to an empty parking lot to learn how to back into parking spot? Well, I need to go to an empty parking lot to learn how to get out of the car in a dress like a lady”. I think I’ve just added something to my list of things to do when I get home. I’ll have Christine capture some film while she’s also teaching me how to parallel park and drive stick.
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